Summer's Resolution

I want to live a life of purpose. And I want it to not be about me.

This summer I want to fall back in love with God again.  Even though I'm back studying Missions at a Biblical university I feel like I've lost that close friendship that I had with God.  And it's not because He moved, it's because I am the one that has moved.

But it all happened so quietly.  I didn't even notice I was running away. I didn't notice that I had turned my back and reached for something different.  I am so ashamed that I ran away from the one who loves me the most.  When I need Him the most I wanted to do things on my own.  I thought I was strong enough.  I thought it was weak to lean on someone instead of picking yourself up and going on with life.  But I realize that my life slowly falls apart when I distance myself from God.

I miss our long talks at night and I miss feeling His smile when I remember to put away my dirty dishes or to remember to send a friend a note. I love having that confidant that knows everything I don't know, and knows just how to comfort me and just how to lead me out of sorrow.

This summer I want to make it a priority to fall back in love with Jesus again. I want to find joy and I want to find love.  Love to love myself again and to love those around me regardless.  I want to find joy in the sunshine and I want to be happy just to be alive and healthy and in the company of such awesome friends and family.

Instead of clinging onto something that is fabricated and fleeting, I want to cling to Him.  I want to stop trying to make myself better and let Him pick up the pieces of my broken heart and weave them back together. I want His blessing in my life and I want to be alone with Him and to be content with just that.

I want to wake up in the morning and read passages of Scripture.  I want to fall down from the high rope I've made myself try to walk and realize that nothing I do will ever be enough, but it's all for Him.  I want to have tears pour down and I want to be restored again.  I want this summer to be one of a revitalization.  I don't want it to be marked with pain and loneliness, but one of joy and happiness.  I want to find my life in Christ again.

Lord, I've missed you. Will you take me back?


  1. Then choose to lose it :) Matthew 16:23

  2. This is so awesome. Everyone I know has been through this including me. Your transparency will encourage others. God Bless You.

  3. chaucee,
    this is beautiful. thanks for sharing your heart. girl, i totally felt every word you wrote.
    love ya, friend. make sure you come see me before you leave for the summer!!
    love, alyssa

  4. It really is refreshing seeing words from a Christian who is an honest, good, and a beautiful creative person. I am not Christian myself and it makes me sad to see any religion shown in a bad light. The ones who are extremist and interpret the Bible to suit their crazy motives are the worst kind of people. I really don't think you've strayed or that your God would feel that way. You are constantly enjoying all that he has given you and appreciating your life. You really are a sweetheart and I love reading your blog.

  5. I'll join you. undoubtedly.
    this is so vulnerable and lovely.

  6. Hi Chaucee, First off I just want to thank you for stopping by my blog earlier. I always love meeting new bloggers...especially one w/ so much in common:) Secondly, I love your blog and I love this summer resolution. I actually graduated from Bible College (Valley Forge) and I can relate to this and will gladly join you on it. Thanks for a beautiful and inspiring read...I am following now:-) Have a lovely weekend!

  7. I can totally relate to this. Thanks for posting and inspiring me to do the same. This is really great.

  8. praise god! your such a blessing. this was me and SOOOOOO MANY OTHERS i can imagine at one point or two points haha. And of course he will take you back.

    if he can take us at our worst and forgive us don't you think he will gladly take us back when we have just strayed??

    cling to his word and drink it up! it is living. I find such a difference when I'm obedient to him and also when i seek his word before anything else at the beginning of my day. I even downloaded this biblereader app on my itouch so i can read freely anywhere!!


    This was my cry and I pray that we both continue to grow and never feel we have REACHED anything in christ. because the walk is narrow and it is not at all easy. but with sisters like you and encouragement like this it is definately possible.

    love you girl! thanks a million for opening up... follow me if you wish<3

    im also a member on

  9. this is extremely late, as the summer seems to be over...but i wanted to comment here because it really touched me. i feel very similar to you, yet i don't know the exact way of coming back. i want to and need to, but i'm unsure at the same time. i feel that i've become too caught up in my own stuff, but i don't know what to do about it.

    but nonetheless, this post really sparked something in me and i know i needed to respond.

    it's great to find bloggers who share these values and a love for Jesus. ♥

    and thanks so much for commenting on my blog. :)

    xxoo elanor

  10. I love this resolution. So beautiful.


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Maira Gall